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Shalom Movers (x3!)…

  • Who told me that we could absolutely move out on a Thursday, then told me that Thursday was fully booked and we would have to move out on Wednesday instead
  • Who conveniently forgot to tell me about the freaking $830 (!!!) storage handling cost in the initial moving quote until it was too late to make alternate arrangements, and balked at negotiating such a massive oversight
  • Who lost one of our lacrosse sticks in the move and steadfastly refused to cover the cost of said lacrosse stick until they got absolutely LAWYERED! by the hubs

Our housekeeping company…

  • Who for some reason left a vacuum cleaner and mop in our old apartment after doing the move-out clean (i.e., we had already left and removed all our belongings) then told me they could not bring a new vacuum and mop to our new apartment and I would have to go back and get the old stuff

Our ex-landlord’s real estate agent…

  • Who told me she could not leave a key with the concierge for me to retrieve aforementioned cleaning items, nor could she meet me at the apartment – located as centrally in Singapore as a building could possibly be – for the five minutes it would take to remove those items myself

Harvey Norman…

  • Who cannot make deliveries after 6pm during the week and needs at least 48 hours to schedule the delivery of TVs, even when the one you just bought decides to stop working two days after purchasing it

The cab driver who drove me home from the airport on Saturday…

  • Who printed out a receipt before I could give him my credit card to pay, then raised his voice and started shaking his head violently when I asked him to re-enter the fare so I could pay with my credit card as I had no cash on me

The fabric store at Tanjong Katong Complex…

  • Who told us our new slipcovers would be ready in two weeks, then waited two weeks to tell us that our stuff wouldn’t actually be ready for another two weeks. Who doesn’t love sitting on fabric-less couches?!

The shrill woman on the train this morning…

  • Who shouted “Cannot move in, lah!” at no one in particular when people tried to move onto a very crowded car at Eunos. I am so sick of the trains being over-crowded because everyone insists on standing right by the door and refuses to push in to the middle

When I was in high school we used to kick off the year by building a giant “A” (for Andover) and setting fire to it in a big open field as a way to get psyched up or something. I wish I could build a giant topiary garden spelling out the word C-A-N-N-O-T and then light it on fire with gasoline and a blowtorch. I still love Singapore, but select Singaporeans have driven me absolutely CRAZY in the past month. Fuck cannot man, I’m so over it.

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