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Roger Daltrey performs at Super Bowl XLIV with The Who

"Why young lady, back in my day..." (SI/Al Tieleman)

I spose it could be worse. The Super Bowl could be on at midnight or 3am or something like that, whereas here it started airing at a fairly manageable 10am. Although, of course, it’s Monday, and everyone’s at work. Therefore, the hubs and I resolved to ignore all major news outlets for the day, record the game, and watch it when he got home from work. It kind of reminds me of that How I Met Your Mother episode (sadly couldn’t find a decent video link) where they have to tivo the Super Bowl to go to a funeral and Ted comes up with the Sensory Deprivator 5000 to avoid hearing the game’s outcome while he’s out in public. The episode is called “Monday Night Football,” very funny stuff.

Much in the spirit of HIMYM (and awesome food for watching football), we decided to make chicken wings. The hubs is a pretty talented chef, and he whipped up some wicked spicy chicken tenders that rivaled our favorite spot in New York City (Pluck U), in taste and quality. These look pretty good, no?:

frying chicken wings

Mmmm...greasy fried chicken

We usually make guacamole to watch football, but we ate that this weekend so decided to skip it. Plus they don’t sell good salsa (or Tostitos) here anyway.

So I avoided visiting American newspaper and sports websites all day, but obviously it wasn’t that hard to go out here and avoid news since there was nary a commercial or supermarket promotion leading up to the Super Bowl. I don’t think they really care here. This was underscored for us while watching the Australian studio team that talked at us during the pregame hype instead of the CBS “NFL Today” studio team (JB, Dan, Bill, Shannon & Boomer…can’t you just hear it in Jim Nance’s voice?). To provide some background, I prefer Channel One games because they usually have the direct broadcast from the US, whereas ESPN Australia uses the international feed, which always sucks. Particularly since Joe Theisman apparently handled the international broadcast this year…

So yeah, these dudes from Channel One – two Aussies and two Americans that I didn’t recognize (because tv production skills here are subpar and they often forget to caption people’s names) – may or may not have actually watched any NFL games this season. The sum of their knowledge seems to be that Peyton Manning is one heckuva player. Seriously, every time we come back from commercial that’s all that they seem to have to say. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? Oh yeah, and they also felt the need to crack jokes about Queen Latifah and Carrie Underwood’s performances of “America the Beautiful” and “The Star Spangled Banner.”

The worst football studio broadcast team I have EVER seen

The only good thing about this telecast is that they are at least showing us some of the best American commercials that are airing, like the Betty White Snickers ad, Bud Light autotune, Doritos casket, etc. Of course, they’re also talking OVER them, and airing them and then forgetting to cut back to the actual game, as happened when the Saints led off the second half with an onside kick (which we didn’t get to see…nice one Channel One).

I wrote this during halftime: Roger Daltrey looks and sounds painfully slow and old. Those granny glasses are not doing him any favors, and his slow-mo marching during “Won’t Get Fooled Again” reminds me of when I see senior citizens power walking around malls in Florida. Just ugh.

After showing more commercials and laughing a little too heartily, one of the American studio dudes is like, “The commercials are particularly lighthearted and funny this year. It must be because the economy has been doing so poorly, all those ad makers decided they needed to lighten the mood.” Right, because Super Bowl ads were never funny before 2010. I should have counted the number of times the hubs and I looked at each other and said, “Who are these people?”

Like any self-respecting Patriots fan, I greatly enjoyed watching Peyton Manning get flattened by a Saints’ lineman during their INT runback for a TD. And I’m now enjoying all the “Peyton Manning returns to choking form” articles.

What a clusterfuck. So the worst football panel in history is talking over the postgame trophy presentation. As NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is handing the trophy over to Saints owner Tom Benson, one of the American guys is like, “You’ve really gotta hand it to Benson. He’s a great guy who’s owned the team for a really long time and has done so much for the city of New Orleans.” Then one of the Aussie guys is like, “How did he make his money? What’s his background?” Responds the American guy: “Yeah, I’m not actually sure about that.” Awkward silence ensues. 1) WHY BRING IT UP THEN? 2) What kind of crappy unprepared studio team doesn’t have a media guide, or a laptop, to access banal information like that?

Just as I was starting to get annoyed that the studio team would continue to talk over the game MVP presentation, they cut away from the Super Bowl telecast completely and signed off. Uh, ok. Good thing we saw Drew Brees standing on the podium anyway (but then again, so was Reggie Bush for some reason…), but God forbid we wanted to hear him talk or something.

Ok, so after the game ended we went back to the beginning of the recording when each anchor was introduced. Turns out the American dudes in question are Ed Wyatt, who used to work for Fox Sports World (covering AFL and soccer), and whose closest connection to football seems to be that he once coached at a high school in Washington, and Steve Carfino, who played college basketball at Iowa and has lived in Australia as a basketball player and coach since 1986. Btw he was presented as “Steve Carfino, who grew up in America and is a huuuuge gridiron fan.” Yes, that’s what qualified him to give color commentary on the Super Bowl: he’s American and likes football. Therefore, in case anyone from Channels Ten or One happens to read this, I’d like to volunteer my services for next year’s Super Bowl broadcast. I, too, grew up in America (and actually lived there, like, recently); I’ve WRITTEN about football and interviewed football players; and Bill Belichick went to my high school. In other words, I blow this Steve Carfino character out of the water. I’m waiting for your call, guys.