That’s a horrible attitude, isn’t it? We arrived in Sydney four weeks ago this Tuesday, on April 14, so any way you look at it we’ve definitely been here for a month now. In some ways it’s flown by, but I think that’s because my daily routine has barely changed. Essentially my life has been confined to working here in our apartment, walking next door to get coffee and lunch, working some more, going to the gym, then doing more work. Our apartment looks out at a brick wall, so we don’t get much sunlight. My body is definitely on a weird schedule.
In other ways, it feels like we’ve been gone from New York for a million years. Spring is definitely in full bloom on the East Coast now, whereas the leaves on the ground here make me feel like we somehow got yanked back in time. Maybe that’s because I just watched the Lost season fnale, though, I dunno. (Btw, WHOA!)
Anyway, I’m still missing my friends, my family, my office terribly. Maybe once we move into our new apartment next week, and if our stuff ever arrives, I’ll start to feel settled, but for now I just sort of feel like I’m in this weird limbo, like I don’t really have much of a purpose here. I don’t hold this against Australia — again this is a really wonderful place, and if I were here on vacation, or just covering it temporarily for work, I don’t think I’d be able to get enough of it. It’s just that it’s not…home, and the enormous time difference and the distance fill me with a sort hopelessness that makes me feel like I’ve been cut off from my previous life.
One of the things we’d hoped to do when we got here was get a dog, but now that’s been put on hold, yet again, because of restrictions on our new lease. Obviously finding a good apartment was a top priority, and I have to be a reasonable grown-up and deal with that, but I don’t think I even realized how much I was looking forward to the companionship, and the daily purpose of raising a puppy. Hopefully after 6 months we can prove that we’re model tenants and our landlord will make an exception for us, but I’m not holding my breath.
Sorry to be such a downer. I remember reading other people’s blogs a while back and being like, “What’s the problem? You’re in Australia! Embrace the adventure!” and now I feel like an insensitive hypocrite. Of course, reading those blogs has also shown me that most people eventually get over these feelings, and hopefully I will at some point, too. For right now, though, all I can do is look forward to August, when I get to take a super-fun 40 hours’ worth of plane rides to get home and back. I suspect that when we finally move back in 2011 (God that seems like a long way off), I won’t want to take any long-haul plane rides for a very, very long time.